A Day in the Life of Arnie

(Note from Molly: I had to have Arnie record this day because it's SOOOO typical of his life. Ignore notifications about something important and then get busted later on down the line with mishap upon mishap.) Here's Arnie:

To crack down on illegal immigrants working, there's been a push for reverification of citizenship of anyone receiving federal money. So for the past six weeks, I've been receiving email after email at work saying I have to get all my documentation together or else the world will come to an end. Well, I haven't had a social security card in ten years (it got lost in a move or something). Molly lost our passports last summer. But I put this off too long. So, at 9:30 am this morning, an HR person called this morning freaking out because today was the last day before they would have to turn off my getting any federal pay. So, I told her all I have is a drivers license and a student ID. She said, "That is not sufficient. AND I'm leaving at 2:30 today." She said if I went to the SS office, I could order my replacement SS card, and they would give me a receipt that I had ordered it that, with my drivers license, would suffice.

Jumped in the batmobile, went to the SS office, drew a number, waited in line. And waited. And waited. Set down with a representative who told me my drivers license had expired on Jan 9, 2010. "Do you have your insurance card?" "Uhm, yeah, let me go get it." Go out to the car, get my insurance card, come back in to the office. She laughs at me, "That's your car insurance. Do you have your regular insurance or your UNC Hospital card?" They were back at my office in my backpack. Note, I could have used my UNC Student ID One Card, but it had been borrowed very recently (by Molly) and left unreturned.

Left there. Went to the DMV. Couldn't find it. Called the DMV. Still couldn't find it. Called Molly. Couldn't find her. Called the DMV. Busy. Called Brendan at work who talked me through the directions to get there. Took a number. The guy said it was going to be a long time. Went back to my car with my new number. Drove to the Dollar General. Cleaned out my car. Motorcycle backfires. Several people gasp. Purchase sudoku puzzle book in the Dollar General. Return to the DMV, nowhere near my number. No one is supposed to have cell phones on or take calls in the waiting room at the DMV. It's unenforced. One example of an overheard conversation: "I know it's you. I can hear your voice. It's the same voice that's on your answering machine. What is it your twin? Is this your twin? This is the reason we don't work out. Cuz you keep lying to me. Quit messing with me or I'm going to punch you in the lip. Do you want me to beat you? Jersey ain't that far. It's just some hours away from NC." And many variants thereof to the answering machine, to the person, to the answering machine, to the person. He actually seemed like a nice guy. (Molly's note: WHAH??!)

My number is called. I panic that I didn't bring a checkbook or cash. He assured me that was not a problem as he could not renew my driver's license anyway. WHY? Good news. It's not expired. It doesn't expire until 11/9/2010. The leading "1" had been rubbed off so it looked like 1/9/10. He said you should know this because it's always going to expire on your birthday. So I asked him, "Well can I go ahead and renew it anyway?" to which he replied " No, you can't renew until within 6 months of your birthday". "So how could I get a drivers license to prove that I don't have an expired one?" He shrugs. "Report it lost of stolen."

(But then I wouldn't have proof that I had applied for one for identify verification.) [Later I found out that, in NC, for 10.00 you can order one duplicate.]

Return to work. Got the rest of my cards including my UNC Hospital card in case I needed it. Return to the SS Administration offices. When I left the SSA office before, my representative told me "When you bring back your hospital card or your student ID, just come up and see me directly. It won't be a problem. You won't have to wait in line." (It's 3pm at this point, so... I had to tell the HR woman I wasn't going to make it before she left. She said she'd bend the rules and do it for me on Monday.)

Back at the SSA office, I made eye contact with my original representative. She clearly saw me. She was with someone, so I didn't want to just interupt. So, I waited she called the next number. So, I figured, Fine, I'll just take another number. I waited. She looked at me every once in awhile. Her current customer stands up to leave. I hear her sigh "I'm done for the day." And she pulls the shudders up over her little kiosk. Finally, my number is called by the last woman with an open window, who after entering all my information looks up at me and says "Do you have any identification that's not expired?" I explain the rubbed off expiration date, etc.... She acquiesces, and I get a little sheet of paper that says that today I have applied for a new Social Security card. And that's all I needed with my not so not so unexpired license to make that woman in HR leave me alone.