Bea Arthur, I've never needed you so badly.

You know how you have certain shows you watched when you were a kid, and they always remind you of home when you see them? They take you back to your living room, sitting on the floor, gazing at the screen, smelling whatever delicious home-cooked meal your mom was making in the kitchen? Making you feel safe, warm, secure, comfortable. To name a few, for me, it's Three's Company, The Cosby Show, and Golden Girls.

So you can imagine my joy when I discovered that, of the three channels we sort of get on our television here, one of them is a snowy, static-y transmission of the Hallmark channel complete with episode after episode of the elderly roommate quartet of Sofia, Rose, Blanche, and Dorothy. Ahhh.... home.

I'm in jury duty now. I, of course, can't go into any of the details, but suffice it to say that it's a less than pleasant experience. I've been there for four days and I have at least one more to go. There's all sorts of bad stuff involved, all sorts of really bad stuff. And it leaves me feeling heavy and sad and icky.

So, when I came home tonight and saw that NBC was offering Dateline, and Noggin was offering Blue's Clues, I was so hoping that the Hallmark Channel could offer me the television equivalent of the cozy, safe environs of my childhood home. But it wasn't. It was some other show.