Paintbrush, Secret Codes, Sunglasses, and Rod Stewart

A random find on the Web: for anyone who is interesting in redecorating, check out this cool tool from Country Living.

Arnie and I sometimes "plan" for what we would do if there was an intruder... youknow secret codes like "If I am talking to you on the phone and I say "Hello Baby Doll" that means there's someone in the house..." If I say "Did you pick up the dry cleaning?" it means that this person can hear your response. Etc. etc. Today, Arnie called me from work and said "There's a man here with a gun. That's code for: There's a man here with a knife."

Also, this week: Ella and I went to Target. I needed a new bra and happened to see a rack of bras on clearance. I grabbed one, not really caring what it looked like... it happened to be bright turqoiuse. Ella said in her very loud voice, "Yeah, mommy! Get THAT one! Get THAT one!" I quickly tossed it in to the large part of the cart (where she was sitting) and started walking away from the bra rack. She immediately picked up the bra, put it on top of her head, and shouted "These look like SUNGLASSES!" (I have really big eyes, OK?) She repeated it multiple times and loudly as other people walked by. I was not as mortified as I would have been in Junior High.

And finally, my friend put up a little contest about the worst song. I thought I should share my entry in case anyone had a Rod Stewart CD they were holding on to for next year's Christmas gift swap with me:

The song that nearly gets me killed every time it comes on the car radio because I have a visceral reaction that makes me lunge toward the dial to change it is: Rod Stewart "Reason to Believe". If you haven't already had dinner, check it out here.

First, Rod Stewart's voice makes me constantly do these sympathy throat clearings, because it sounds like he's got a big (and I hate the word) loogie in his throat.

Second, I can't hear his voice without picturing his face. And I can't picture his face without picturing his hair, and well... that's just...disturbing.

The whole song gives me this dingy, dusty, orange-y 1970's feeling. It conjures up the same feelings I had when that kid in "The Sixth Sense" comes in and asks whether Haley Joel Osment wants to see where his dad keeps his gun. Then he turns around and the back of his head is all blown up.

Besides the fact that the lyrics are sung from the perspective of someone who is CLEARLY delusional about the possibility of future success in this relationship, the rhythm and stress patterns of each line ("KNOWING THAT you LIED straight-FACED while I CRIED") work like piercing arrows in my stomach, each one jabbing into a new spot before the pain of the previous one can fade.