One more shopping story, then I'll quit for awhile...

Alright. Another adventure in couponing. First, let me say that I am not a confrontational person. So much in fact that, when I go to a restaurant, if the food is anything shy of… missing, I never call the waiter back.

So, you can imagine the veritable pickle I was in when I looked at my receipt for my 20 dollars worth of Kraft products at CVS this afternoon and it didn’t have my 20 extra care bucks on the bottom as promised. (For those of you who don't know, extra care bucks come when you buy a certain number of items specified items. They print out at the end of your receipt almost like a gift card that you can use like cash on future purchases.) I took microscopic steps away from the register, studying each line of the receipt for some clue as to why my plan to score big savings did not work. You know those cartoons where there’s an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder?

Angel: Molly, don’t cause any trouble. Just keep on walking.
Devil: Are you KIDDING me? You just spent 20 bucks! Go get your ECBs!
Angel: Now, now. It’s probably something you did wrong, anyway. Don’t make that poor cashier pay for your mistakes.
Devil: Nonsense. The flier said 20 dollars worth of Kraft products. And you bought 20 dollars worth of Kraft products. Go get back in line.
Angel: But, he’ll think you’re really lame.
Devil: You are lame. Go get back in line.
Angel: Don’t go back.
Devil: Go back.

It was like those scenes in the movies where the camera zooms in circles around one person, and everything in the background is a blur. After what seemed like 20 minutes of standing frozen in the middle of the doorway, I decided to get back in line.

I said, “I know this is really lame, but…” and explained to him the situation. (Incidentally, the cashier had a striking resemblance to Jon Heder, but anyway…)

He didn’t really know about, well… let’s just say, he didn’t really know stuff. So, he called the manager.

Long story short, turns out that I didn’t buy the right kind of Kraft and Nabisco products. Instead of Kraft Velveeta Shells and Cheese, I bought just regular plain old Kraft Cheese and macaroni. Those don’t count. Neither do ‘Nilla Wafers.

Napolean did a refund on my entire order. I offered to return everything to where I got them from, but Napolean wouldn’t have it. So, I took the pizza and the oreos and said, Well, I’ll take these, because I’m just going to come back and RE-buy them in a minute.

I went back, I bought the right stuff, and I got the 20 ECBs. Did you know that when you get ECBs the cash register turns into a slot machine?? It makes this jackpot ringing “YOU WIN” type sound. I immediately started looking around for a canvas bag to shovel my gold coins in to so I didn’t get stampeded by other shoppers wanting in on the loot.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Buy only those items specifically listed in the CVS ads, and ignore the angel.